“That’s too gay for me.”

A sentence I often hear from a lot of gay folks. A surprise to some but not to many of us. I think most queer POC can share this sentiment.

In the spirit of Pride Month, I find myself in a reflective space, looking back at the shifts this country has made.

2009 was my first Pride parade. I was 17, living in Singapore at the time. A country where the concept of being gay wasn’t even discussed, where my school refused to allow a GSA because it would be “too much,” and where you could be jailed simply for being out.

I remember a bar that hid itself behind the presentation of a straight space, only to transform in the late hours of the night into something extravagant and queer. And often, within minutes, it would be shut down. Police raids, lights up, gone.

I share this to highlight the dichotomy of my upbringing. From a conservative environment to the other side of the world, where people could share laughter and pride openly.

So when another queer person says to me, “that’s too gay for me,” I feel how much of their journey is still yet to be discovered. I almost wince, uncomfortable with how much internalized projection has led to that very moment.

Let us remind ourselves that Pride, in itself, was a radical act. An act of defiance. A protest.

These spaces, these artists, these communities. They are the very reasons you continue to exist.

So when you encounter moments that push limits, that make you uncomfortable, remind yourself: these are people living authentically and beautifully. Society limits our creativity. Limits our beauty. Limits who we can be.

I was surrounded by heteronormative environments and saw how stifling they can be. I shifted my perspective from forcing a journey of discovery to opening myself to possibility. Stepping back from living day to day fulfilling checked boxes with black pens, never allowing the gaps between those lines to be filled with color.

Our LGBT family was able to carve our way to individuality. You may see this as too out there, too much, too loud. But “out there” is simply removing the shackles of confining yourself to a box. A box that doesn’t even need to be there.

With Pride continuing this month and forever, act with limitlessness. Push toward the person you already know you are. Let the color fill in.